To alcohol,

 

Thank you for being a part of my life for nearly thirty years.

You were always there for me. You were amazing.

You were my comfort and my courage.

You were there for every celebration and every loss.

You made the lightness brighter, and you made the darkness deeper.

I needed that.

 

You were so sophisticated and so cool. 

And when we hung out together I felt that way, too.

 

You gave me hope.

You calmed me down.

You promised to help me, and you always tried.

 

You were so sweet.

 

You had super powers.

With you I could forget. 

When everything felt complicated,

you were easy.

You made me feel better.

 

You were there when I got in trouble,

and you were there for my greatest successes.

With you around, I was never bored.

 

You made adventure more fun.

You made people more approachable.

You even made ironing shirts enjoyable.

 

You made baths more indulgent.

You made food taste better.

And you somehow managed to make loneliness tolerable.

I’m in awe of you.

 

I want to especially thank you for giving me permission to be whatever I wanted to be;

for giving me a voice.

With you, I could speak up,

speak out,

be loud,

be myself.

 

You had a way about you.

You knew me so well.

The tears and the truth and the anger

belonged to you.

I trusted you with the things that scared me.

With you, I could face things I couldn’t face myself.

 

Your love was unconditional and you were the most resilient friend I’ve had.

Even when my frustration burned against you,

you were still there for me.

Even when I falsely blamed you,

you stayed faithfully by my side.

 

I abused you, and you let me.

You were such a trooper.

 

It’s been sixty days since I last invited you into my body. 

I can still taste you.

You show up in my dreams.

In moments of sadness I want you back. 

In moments of victory I want you back.

My comforter. My rock. I crave you something fierce.

 

I liked you so much.

But you're a liar.

 

And the time has come

for me to respectfully ask you

to leave me

the fuck

alone.

2 Comments