I’ve been breaking rules.

I put honey in my tea twice, I ate a few flecks of feta, and I’m using grass-fed butter in my coffee. Not the worst Whole30 offenses - it’s not like I’m eating cake - but I’m not going to say I’m doing a Whole30 when I’m not perfectly adhering to it. So let’s call it a Whole30-ish. 

But even though I’m cheating, I’m still winning. Here’s why.

Quitting alcohol six months ago meant quitting wine, so there went my daily dose of sugar. I switched to other non-alcoholic forms of sugar (like ice cream and caramel macchiatos) and did that for about five months. Being newly sober’s hard but sugar makes it easier so I went with it. At least I wasn’t drinking. 

After a few weeks of weekly sugar, I was having daily sugar. And after a few more weeks I was craving sugar morning til evening and especially after every meal. Thanks to willpower, I wasn’t giving in to all my sugary desires, but I was having it every day and that, along with the constant cravings, started to feel like an issue. Plus my energy was crashing and my workout tights were feeling extra tight.

I’m not the best judge of what’s realistically happening with my body aesthetically. I can get pretty mixed up in this department so I try to focus more on how I feel and how I’m performing rather than what I *think* I look like. 

Aesthetics aside, things were getting murky. And I was ready to make a change.

So, in classic Becca “all or nothing” style, I started a Whole30 on January 1.

The Whole30 is an anti-inflammatory diet protocol where you eliminate dairy, grains, legumes, sugar/sweeteners, soy, and corn. You eat only vegetables, meat and eggs, nuts and seeds, and healthy oils. I’ve done it once before and it was a profound experience. I didn’t cheat at all except once with vodka. 

Read about why I quit drinking here.

Read about my first Whole30 here.

Today’s day 9 of my Whole30-ish. I plan on continuing with butter in my coffee. I start looking forward to it before I even go to bed and it’s a morning ritual I’m strongly attached to. Also, it makes me feel great and gives me steady lasting energy throughout the morning. I’m not giving it up. You can have the cake, but the Bulletproof coffee stays. 

I discovered a new Whole30 junk food - technically allowed but pushing it - in the form of dried persimmons. Other foods to file under Whole30 junk food are Lara bars, Rx bars, and dates, and I’m eating them all.. 

But what I’m mostly eating is vegetables and meat and I feel so much better. My cravings aren’t making me crazy and my energy is more consistent. I might be shrinking and I might not, but it doesn’t matter because I stop caring about shrinking when I’m feeling good in my body.

And that’s a nice place to be.